Let’s Chat about Phil Spector’s Nipples

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I’m trying not to pay too much attention to the Phil Spector trial — truth be told, I’m too busy obsessing over the legal proceedings of Peter Braunstein, the firefighter impersonating rapist journalist — but I had to pass along this gem.

The following is a transcript of a voicemail that the Beatles producer left for his ex Dorothy Melvin. Dot testified earlier this week that Phil, on trial for allegedly murdering actress Lana Clarkson, pulled a gun on her and tried to rape her three times 14 years ago. He also left her a series of bizarre VMs like this:

Sorry I’m late calling, chief, but I had some trouble with my nipple ring. Um, don’t worry about the competition. Let the competition worry about you. All right, I cannot be replaced by a machine, unless it learns to uh, drink, f–k, [inaudible], right. Okay, keep smiling Dorothy, uh, but no so much that you begin to wonder if you’re mentally f–king unbalanced. And I expect a return call, but be very careful of what you say to me, because nothing you say to me is worth your life. Goodbye, Dorothy!

Clearly the guy is a madman, which is the point. But I was more shocked about the reference to the 67-year-old, ‘fro loving freakazoid having “trouble” with his nipple ring.

It caused me to eat my lunch twice today.

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